My Latest Fear

 During this journey I am on I can say the only fear I do not have is losing my hair. It is just hair it will grow back.  The fears that I have faced were having the double mastectomy and having the port placed. Those fears are history. The fear I have had from the start is the chemotherapy this too shall pass after Thursday.

 My new fear is that I will not stop touching my new breast. I went yesterday to get them pumped up and taught about massage. I was instructed to massage them all the time. Jokingly they said you massage them have your husband massage them. Have your friends massage them, the mailman massage them. The point being is it is very important for the healing to get good blood flow to promote healing and reduce scar tissue. I pride myself in being a good patient. It takes 21 days to form or break a habit. My breast expansion will surpass this time frame. How embarrassing will that be if I do it and not even realize what I am doing?  I wonder if there is a 12 step program for this. Men have inappropriately rearranged their personal parts in public for years. I believe their program was called a wife.  I give permission to anyone if you see me touching myself in public please tell me.